Love, how does that work anyway?
Before you read this just selecting words, skipping over the lines and have a quick read through…let me ask you this: did you already have a moment for yourself today?
Really sat down and did something with awareness?
Take this moment to sit and read and maybe get inspired to move with or work on self love!
Or DECIDE to put it away for now and make a note out of it that reminds you to really read this with awareness later.
It is about self love, don’t you deserve that?!!
I’ve heard this over and over: love is heavy, complicated, sometimes hard to deal with. People sigh when they talk about it…
I can see their minds racing, many thougths and memories ‘moving around’ as they talk about it.
I believed this for a long time…
October 21th 2017, Bali
It hit me…so hard.
The feeling I haven’t felt in a very long time: self love.
I wasn’t aware of the fact that it was self love untill I was back home (The Netherlands) again.
That feeling I had, after an amazing fist day in Bali: seeing the surroundings; being in nature; getting a first taste of the spiritual habits Bali has…
I got back to my hotel at seven pm, took a shower and decided I was going to take myself on a nice ‘dinner date’. I walked in to the garden feeling so happy and noticed myself freezing the next moment.
A local band was playing a song that means a lot to me: Let it be.
It gave me chills all over my body…
As if the universe gave me the sign: it is okay now, you are okay…
The feeling I experienced again in New Zealand last month so many times. In those moments everything ‘fell away’ no noise on the outside, moved on the inside.
Feeling my own heart and soul.
Just letting things BE.
After my breakup this song was my biggest reminder: let it be…the hardest thing for me to do really.
And for those who have read my blog entitled: ‘Addicted? Think again! It is all in the mind!’ you will know my biggest struggle: my own mind, my own thoughts.
And as I work in addictioncare, this turned out to be my own biggest addiction.
I can relate to this first video so much.
Being heartbroken, the mind and how it can get you addicted and make you get your fix, without being aware of that at the time.
The most important part is to heal from it.
And as I am talking in the second person ‘you’ I am obviously talking about myself.
Please sit back and watch the next video. Take from it, what it ‘touches’ in you.
How to fix a broken heart – Guy Winch:
And somewhere in between everything I hear when I talk to people I meet for the first time, when I teach about this subject in my sessions, and when I read about this subject…
Love is not the problem!
Love is love. When I look for the definition: love is warmth, connection, devotion, intimacy, endearment, tenderness, lust, unconditional, giving, and receiving…
And so much more.
Love in my opinion is beautiful…pure…when you can let it be.
And this is where the hardest part kicks in: we people try to make it in to something, try to control it and make it right or wrong, as we do with our emotions.
And as for emotions I feel the same as I do with love: emotions are not the problem!
Everything that happens between you and ‘love’ is not the problem. It is how you look at love, how you deal with love, how you look at the person in front of you, and (most important of all) how you look at yourself.
Yes there it is again: self love. I used to frown when that word came along.
Nowadays it is my greatest belief and daily practice.
The cliché: loving yourself before you can truly love someone else…I am such a big believer.
As I met so many people during my journey in New Zealand and being back in Bali right now, the thing we have in common is: we seek it! Like we seek connection. We all want to be really seen and heard. We need love and look for it. Mainly on the outside, instead of the inside (I am at a place were this is a really big thing: getting the perfect body, eating the perfect food, making the most perfect picture to go with that – yes I feel another blog coming up – 😉 more about that later)
My belief is that it is perfectly fine, really good in fact, to want to take care of your body and mind. I am only asking you to be aware of the difference between something you are doing for your own health or something that you are doing on the outside, trying to fix whatever is not okay on the inside.
Just take it in and be aware. No judgement. Come up with your own truth about this and how you are moving with yourself.
So back to self love. I felt it in Bali again.
“Self-discipline is the definition of self love.”
Will Smith said this in one of his video’s: if you want to love yourself, you have to discipline your behaviour.
“Sustained happiness comes when you discipline your behaviour.”
Self love to me also means you are choosing.
The week before my flight to New Zealand I gave a presentation on habit and breaking patterns and why it is so hard to do.
Before you watch this second video about self love, let me ask you this and if you want and maybe also already need and feel it is important for you to practice self love as well:
How do you take care of yourself?
What kind of choices do you make for yourself mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually?
What do you do that is a sign of you loving yourself?
Do you choose the pain of discipline or the pain of regret?
Choose self love because I believe it is your greatest power!
What can you do for yourself today that is a sign of self love and what can you take and make in to your daily habits?
Choose, Cinta Diri, take action!
And just because I think humor and laughter are also a really big healer and signs of love in life:
Watch the next clip…
Do you talk in first; second or third person? 😉